More Handy Me Downs

One of the parents from the daycare I work at gave me a few more items this week. I have now added:

• swing (it folds up small)
• walker
• clothes for a pre-school boy

The spare bedroom is becoming quite full! I am going to need to buckle down and get it cleaned out fast!

Update

A lot of people have been asking me how things are going with the Foster Parenting and so here it is.

We have completed our class work (24 hours worth) and completed our homework. I hope to pop the homework in the mail tomorrow.

We have completed our Home Study (which is incorrectly named) and the Fire Marshal has visited the house.

Left to do:

• Install two egress windows (one in each bedroom)
• Install hard wired fire alarms (four of them)
• fix the handrail 
• create a handrail
• get finger printed

If everything goes smoothly I think we should have a little one by mid-October.
The Home Study lady told us that infants are few and far between but I don't believe her. We are going to start with infants and work our way up to older kids (at least that is the plan for now).

About Adoption:
Should we take in a child/infant that becomes available for adoption we have the choice to go ahead and adopt. Or (if we decide to go this route) we can look through their book of available children and start the process that way. For now we are just going to do Fostering and see where it leads.

Gathering Items

I have been busy collecting items for our future Foster Children.
Mostly I have been collecting baby items.

I have only spent $90.00
We have:

• highchair
• stroller/carseat combo
• most of a wardrobe for a girl from the ages 0 - 6
• all of a wardrobe for a girl from the ages 6-18 months
• crib (no mattress)
• bassinet
• johnny jump-up
• seat for in the tub

Most of the things are handy me downs. The things that Jason and I purchased were the furniture.

My Mom said to me: "I wonder if this means that you're going to get a baby girl?"
I said: "I feel bad for the baby boy if that is what we get."

Boy or girl we will love them!

I am selling some of my knitted things (Delia's Knitted Things) in hopes to get enough money to buy an Ergo Baby Carrier. I like the carrier over a sling or other back pack because of the way that it protects a babies hips. Also it is easier to have a grandparent use than the sling. I may still get a sling to try it out, we'll see.

Adoption Worries

We have now had two Foster Care classes.

After the first class Jason told me that he'd like to adopt. That his goal of Foster Care was to find a child to adopt. I'm on the fence.

Why am I on the fence to adopt?

I've been trying for the past few weeks to figure out what is going on inside my head.

I think I'm worried about bonding. It is likely that we could have a child in our home who is old enough to remember their birth mother. They will always and forever be comparing me to her, and wanting to be with her (no matter how horrible she was to them the Foster Care Teacher keeps telling us). I can't compete with that. I know it's not a competition of who is the better mother, but it will feel like it is.

I still have this fantasy of having my own child and what that will be like .. Jason and I have names picked out for them .. and I'm not giving up that dream just yet. I just sort of feel that saying "Yes" to adoption somehow means I'm saying "No" to having biological children. I know that anything can happen. I know that letting go of my fantasy and letting God do His will that it will all be all right.

I just can't get my heart to agree.

Fire Marshal

The Fire Marshal stopped by last week to inspect us. We need to change a window in the bedroom, install some hard wired smoke detectors, and put up a handrail.

I've really been surprised at how fast DHHS has been working. All the people we put in for references received their paper work the Friday of the week that we sent our application in.

We start out 24hr of Foster Care training on May 25th.

I think that by (or before) September we should have a munchkin living with us!

Foster Care Meeting

Tomorrow is our first of many meetings/classes to become Foster Parents. We are so excited! A friend told us that they are very negative, probably so that you have a true sense of what it is like.

I just finished reading Another Place at the Table. Its an autobiography of a Foster Mom and she doesn't pull any punches. She tells it just like it happened to her in all it's gritty truth. It was a good read and a page turner. Even despite all the awful things she experience being a Foster Mom and all the horrible things she exposed her kids to inadvertently she remains positive.

Jason is going to read it next.