{This Moment}

This Moment} A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor, and remember.

~via SouleMama

Epiphany

Tomato Forest
2010

Jason took me away this week-end and driving through the country side and sitting on top of Mount Battie gave us a more broader view of our world. We lamented how some of the "old ways" are lost, the slower ways, the quieter ways, the quality of time.

Last year we had a modest garden that got a little lost in the shuffle with the birth of our son (see this post for an explanation) but this year we want to do better. We want to have more variety (not a tomato forest), do better at harvesting, improve our canning/freezing/storing, and spend more time tending to our little plot of land.

There was some discussion on possibly adding a chicken or two, some for eggs some for meat, and a small little desire for a milk goat. The goal is to live more off our own half acre of paradise and less off the store, and to eat and live more healthy.

We are planning on planting: 

• 5 Roma Tomato Plants
• 5 Slicing Tomato Plants
• 2 Cherry Tomato Plants
• 3 Zucchini
• 3 Summer Squash 
• 4 Green Beans
• 6 Green Peppers
• 20 Red Potatoes
• 20 Russet Potatoes
• 6 Sweet Potatoes (maybe)
• 6 Onions
• Carrots
• Parsnips
• Garlic
• 4 Cabbage
• 4 Spinach
• 6 Cucumbers
• Beets
• Broccoli (maybe)
• Edible Pea Pod Peas
• Herbs: basil, bay, mint, rosemary (I have to look into these)
• Pumpkins
• Squash (Acorn & Butternut)

Today Owen and I went outside to the garden to take a look at things. We found lots of little blue flowers flox/flocks (--spelling?) is what I think they are called. The daffodils are also coming up which makes me very happy. This year when they die back I'm going to move them over to the dying apple tree where some other stuff I planted last year is hopefully getting ready to grow.

I found some Rhubarb sprouting up, and also some weeds. So, while Owen ate dirt and leaves I dug around and uprooted some unwanted greenery. I think that Owen is going to be a big help in the garden this year.

I found a worm and thought about showing it to him, but changed my mind. If you would like to see more pictures of Owen playing in the dirt check out my facebook link (you don't need an account to look).

Quick Week-end Escape (click the photos to see them larger)

Rockland & the Reception

We have been planning on attending a wedding in Rockland over the week-end. The plan was to drop Owen off Saturday morning, drive the 2 or so hours to the town that the wedding was in, walk around for a bit, go to the wedding, stay long enough to eat at the reception, then hightail it home, sleep, and pick Owen up before church Sunday morning. Jason's parents and several of his co-workers were planning on staying in the Rockland Area Friday night and Saturday night, but we couldn't afford it.

Mount Battie, Camden, Maine

Reception

I had Owen all packed up and ready to go Friday morning before our bi-weekly grocery shopping trip. I didn't want to pack sleepy either that night or the next morning for fear that I'd forget something. We decided that since we were already going to be in town, why not stop by my Mom's and have supper to and why not leave Owen?


Saturday morning I wake up and Jason says "I have a surprise for you."
"What is it?" I ask
"I can't tell you it's a surprise."
"Where is it?"
"I can't tell you that either. Get up and go downstairs and shower."
"Is it downstairs?"
"No. Well. Sort of. It's outside."
Sleep-addled I take a shower.
In the shower I wake up.
"Are we staying down there?"
"Yes!" he says beaming, "And I've already packed!"

Mount Battie
(this is not Owen)

We went to Rockland for a few days. It was a lot of fun. We went to the breakwater and walked the 7/10ths of a mile to the lighthouse, we attended a very beautiful wedding, got to view the gorgeous Maine coastline. And then collasped into a hotel bed for the night. In the morning we went up Mount Battie (by car), walked around Rockland, and headed for home to see our boy (who we missed very much!).

 It was great to get away, but I am happy to be home!

For More photos check out my Facebook Album (no need for a profile/account to view them)

{This Moment}

{This Moment} A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor, and remember.
~via SouleMama

No Wheels, No Problem

We are with out a vehicle at the moment. No Impala (how I miss that car!), no truck, not even a bike, or a train, or a bus, nothing.

We now travel at the mercy of family.

I am thankful, grateful, and blessed by and for our family! 

I am so thankful that God blessed us with loving parents and relatives and extended church family who will let us borrow their wheels or scoop us up or bring us back when we need them.

With any luck By God's grace and mercy the truck will not be broken too bad and it will be an easy and cheap fix. And if it is not an easy or cheap fix then I know that God has something planned. He knows the balance in the checkbook and where we need to go each week, it will all work out.

4/15/2011

Truck is fixed. It took $200 and the garage owner said we can pay him when we have the money.

Thank you God!

Spring is Here!

Today we got Owen outside for a little while. Mumma dug around in the dirt and the leaves to find some little shoots sprouting! This spring and summer we hope to do a lot of gardening together. I have a few small things I want to do around the house. Mostly weed killing this year so that next year I can plant flowers. 

This spring I hope to move around a few bulbs (hopefully I won't kill them) since they are sort of growing under the front of the house right now. As soon as the garden dries Jason is going to do some tilling to get ready for another tomato forrest    a new potato patch.

Owen played in his Jumparoo while Mumma and Papa worked. Then Papa took us out out supper at Country Delight for some Boondock Burgers. Yum! I don't think Owen's taste-buds work. Today he had a pickle and some ketchup and didn't make a face. 

Jumping

Owen's View

Little Growing Things

Amazing

I didn't think it was possible, but Owen slept through the night two nights in a row! I'm hoping for a third night!

We are doing good as we enter our second month as a family.
I am finding it very difficult to be a "single mom" on the week-ends that Jason work 3days. I usually cry sometime Saturday Night. Babies are oh so very demanding (no kidding, right!) and sometimes it is more than a little rough. Thankfully I have a wonderful Mom and Mom-in-Law who don't mind me crashing at their house just so I won't be alone. Of course the fact that I have their grandson as incentive has nothing to do with their willingness!

Jason and I have gone on two dates! Yes two! It helps a lot to get away with out the boy.

I'm hoping to start blogging a little more.

More to come!

Adoption Story Begins

My husband and I had a God bomb dropped on us on Friday, September 3, 2010. An aunt called and said she just met a woman who didn't want her baby. Did we want to meet her and possibly adopt the baby?

To which we answered: Yes!

Long story short we met the woman and spent several hours with her (part of it in the hospital while she went through some false labor) and she agreed to let us adopt her son.

Her due date is September 25th. Sometime between now and then we will be parents.

WOW!

Jason and I are just in utter and total shock. We didn't go looking for this, weren't expecting this, and never dreamed of adopting an infant right from the hospital. Sometimes we just look at each other and say: "We're going to be parents." with this voice of shock and awe.

We cannot wait.

The baby is a boy (his name is a secret) and from what we can tell looks healthy.

We've hired a lawyer and he's drawing up paperwork for the mother to sign when our son is born. We will take him home from the hospital. 

It is just amazing, and it's all God.

I have been taking the mother to her doctor appointments, because she has no family and no way to get to them. I wouldn't call us friends, but friendly. It's very weird for me to be this woman's friend. I feel sad for her and happy for me. At our Foster Training they had an exercise for us to do involving loss and grief and part of it was what sort of loss or grief does an adoptive parent go through. I couldn't imagine any, adopting had to be the most wonderful thing, what was there to be sad about? Now I understand. I grieve for my son, because he will never get a chance to know his birth mother and I grieve for this woman because she will never be his Mom.

Though I am a little sad, I am mostly beside myself with excitement. I am going to be a MOM!!!

Gathering Items

I have been busy collecting items for our future Foster Children.
Mostly I have been collecting baby items.

I have only spent $90.00
We have:

• highchair
• stroller/carseat combo
• most of a wardrobe for a girl from the ages 0 - 6
• all of a wardrobe for a girl from the ages 6-18 months
• crib (no mattress)
• bassinet
• johnny jump-up
• seat for in the tub

Most of the things are handy me downs. The things that Jason and I purchased were the furniture.

My Mom said to me: "I wonder if this means that you're going to get a baby girl?"
I said: "I feel bad for the baby boy if that is what we get."

Boy or girl we will love them!

I am selling some of my knitted things (Delia's Knitted Things) in hopes to get enough money to buy an Ergo Baby Carrier. I like the carrier over a sling or other back pack because of the way that it protects a babies hips. Also it is easier to have a grandparent use than the sling. I may still get a sling to try it out, we'll see.

Adoption Worries

We have now had two Foster Care classes.

After the first class Jason told me that he'd like to adopt. That his goal of Foster Care was to find a child to adopt. I'm on the fence.

Why am I on the fence to adopt?

I've been trying for the past few weeks to figure out what is going on inside my head.

I think I'm worried about bonding. It is likely that we could have a child in our home who is old enough to remember their birth mother. They will always and forever be comparing me to her, and wanting to be with her (no matter how horrible she was to them the Foster Care Teacher keeps telling us). I can't compete with that. I know it's not a competition of who is the better mother, but it will feel like it is.

I still have this fantasy of having my own child and what that will be like .. Jason and I have names picked out for them .. and I'm not giving up that dream just yet. I just sort of feel that saying "Yes" to adoption somehow means I'm saying "No" to having biological children. I know that anything can happen. I know that letting go of my fantasy and letting God do His will that it will all be all right.

I just can't get my heart to agree.

Cruise Pictures

Foster Care

Awhile ago, back before we had officially started trying a friend of ours said: "You two should consider Foster Care, you'd be great at it." To which my hubby replied: "No, because the first time I had to hand a kid over to their scum bag parent I'd have issues."

I didn't push him on it because I could tell that he had made his mind up and wasn't going to budge on this issue.

Thursday we were in the bank and ran into the same friend who had just finished adoption on her second Foster Child and reiterated her statement to Jason to which Jason replied: "No, because the first time that I saw the scum bag parent in the facility...."

There we are sitting in the bank trying to see if we can get a credit card for 9.9% instead of the one we have now at like 300% ... and the bank lady leaves for a moment and he turns to me and says: "Let's do it. Let's try Foster Care."

Such a turd my hubby.

I was feeling rather hopeless. We don't have the money to go much further then we are with fertility treatments (I'm assuming this I haven't researched it much yet, kind of afraid too), and I just can't take the continuing disappointment without a glimmer of hope! Now I feel relief that if the next two rounds of Clomid don't work then there is an avenue left open to us (in our current price range) to be parents.

:)

New House

On November 23, 2009 Jason and I became home owners!

We more than doubled our living space! Since moving I have had a dinner party, a brunch, and a birthday party here! We have been having so much fun!

Round 2 with Clomid

Started taking Clomid again today. I'm going to try and be real dilligent about taking it at the same time every day. I'm shooting for noon when I take my other pills.

House

Jason and I think we've found a house! If all goes well the closing date is Oct 28th!

A house for Hamlins?

We put an offer on a house today. This is the second time we are putting an offer on this house. The first time someone else beat us to the punch. That offer fell apart and now we are getting a turn!

We are hoping that it goes through easy. The house is closer to Jason's parents than mine, but that's all right. It is also 45mins from work for me, I'm going to have to commute for the first time in ..... gosh .... 8 years! I worked it out with my "boss" that I will work Mon, Wed, Fri so that we can get the preschoolers to preschool.

Yes, we are taking our daycare kids to preschool. We are so crazy. We are the ONLY daycare in our area that takes the kids to preschool. Here is the logic. These 4 four year olds have been together since before they could talk. Come next year when they go to Kindergarten they are going to have a SHOCK. We thought this might be a nice lead in for them. Apparently the parents agreed because they are paying for preschool in ADDITION to the normal daycare rates (we aren't giving them any discount). We'll see how it goes with all this carting around.

We are very excited. We are hoping that this is IT!. We have looked at 20 or so houses in a couple of months. I think we have seen everything in our price range with in an hours travel! I'll be so happy when that is done.

Keep those fingers and toes crossed!!

Part 3 of Vaca Pics

Part 2 of Vaca Pics

Part 1 of Vaca Pics

Multiple Briths with Clomid

So I just did some research on Clomid and this is what I came up with..

The frequency of twins occurring in women who conceive while taking clomiphene or letrozole has been reported to be as high as 10%. Triplets may occur as frequently as 1 in 400 births, and quadruplets in 1 in 800 births.

Jason is almost excited as I am to be seriously trying now. While we were on vacation he looked at my cousins baby and said "I want one more now."

"More than before?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Why?"

"I saw J with his daughter and I want that."

I smiled, "Good."

He is going to be a good Dad. Despite what he thinks. Today I sort of tossed one of the daycare infants who happened to be eating a bottle at the time at him and had him feed the kid. He was bewildered, but he handle himself and the baby just fine. I'm so proud of him. I love him so very much!

The Hamlins went to the Dr and the Dr Said..

Thursday was our first visit to the fertility doc in our area. All I wanted out of her was Clomid because everything I've been reading has told me that the "magic" formula is progesterone (to have a period), clomid (to make eggs), and Metformin to "hedge the bet". The problem was only a fertility doc can write scripts for Clomid and so we have been waiting and waiting and waiting.

But the wait is over. We now have clomid.

I'll keep you posted as to how it will effect me. I have heard some horror stories of the emotional roller coaster it puts you on :( . Oh, and here are the super fun side effects...

hot flashes

nausea

vomiting

breast tenderness

dizziness

lightheadedness

headache

or

mood changes

Oh, and did I forget to tell you??

Using this medicine may result in multiple pregnancy (twins, etc.)

Today I was texting my cousin who has traveled this road before to find out that it wasn't possible for her and her hubby to have kids (they both have issues) and said that triplets are more common than twins. I'm going to check this out tonight. I don't want three at a time!!

3, 2, or 1 I'll take what God will give me!