Epiphany

Tomato Forest
2010

Jason took me away this week-end and driving through the country side and sitting on top of Mount Battie gave us a more broader view of our world. We lamented how some of the "old ways" are lost, the slower ways, the quieter ways, the quality of time.

Last year we had a modest garden that got a little lost in the shuffle with the birth of our son (see this post for an explanation) but this year we want to do better. We want to have more variety (not a tomato forest), do better at harvesting, improve our canning/freezing/storing, and spend more time tending to our little plot of land.

There was some discussion on possibly adding a chicken or two, some for eggs some for meat, and a small little desire for a milk goat. The goal is to live more off our own half acre of paradise and less off the store, and to eat and live more healthy.

We are planning on planting: 

• 5 Roma Tomato Plants
• 5 Slicing Tomato Plants
• 2 Cherry Tomato Plants
• 3 Zucchini
• 3 Summer Squash 
• 4 Green Beans
• 6 Green Peppers
• 20 Red Potatoes
• 20 Russet Potatoes
• 6 Sweet Potatoes (maybe)
• 6 Onions
• Carrots
• Parsnips
• Garlic
• 4 Cabbage
• 4 Spinach
• 6 Cucumbers
• Beets
• Broccoli (maybe)
• Edible Pea Pod Peas
• Herbs: basil, bay, mint, rosemary (I have to look into these)
• Pumpkins
• Squash (Acorn & Butternut)

Today Owen and I went outside to the garden to take a look at things. We found lots of little blue flowers flox/flocks (--spelling?) is what I think they are called. The daffodils are also coming up which makes me very happy. This year when they die back I'm going to move them over to the dying apple tree where some other stuff I planted last year is hopefully getting ready to grow.

I found some Rhubarb sprouting up, and also some weeds. So, while Owen ate dirt and leaves I dug around and uprooted some unwanted greenery. I think that Owen is going to be a big help in the garden this year.

I found a worm and thought about showing it to him, but changed my mind. If you would like to see more pictures of Owen playing in the dirt check out my facebook link (you don't need an account to look).

No Wheels, No Problem

We are with out a vehicle at the moment. No Impala (how I miss that car!), no truck, not even a bike, or a train, or a bus, nothing.

We now travel at the mercy of family.

I am thankful, grateful, and blessed by and for our family! 

I am so thankful that God blessed us with loving parents and relatives and extended church family who will let us borrow their wheels or scoop us up or bring us back when we need them.

With any luck By God's grace and mercy the truck will not be broken too bad and it will be an easy and cheap fix. And if it is not an easy or cheap fix then I know that God has something planned. He knows the balance in the checkbook and where we need to go each week, it will all work out.

4/15/2011

Truck is fixed. It took $200 and the garage owner said we can pay him when we have the money.

Thank you God!

Dandelion

Why are children fascinated with dandelions? I remember as a child picking them by the handful and giving them to my mom with pride. Even after I knew that they would barely last a day in a vase, I still would pick some and lovingly put them in a vase for her to enjoy.

Why don't dandelions last in a vase? Why do they wither up and die? They survive the lawn mower and sometimes the weed whacker, but not being plucked....

The daycare kids are always trying to give me the tops of tiny flowers and I thank them and put them in my pocket. Sometimes I say "Oh that is really pretty, but I don't want it. You can save it and give it to Mommy."

I like looking at dandelions, I don't mind at all when the lawn is yellow because of them.

I am very thankful that spring is here and summer is chasing it's heels.

Some Good Stuff

So, I've been feeling a little negative lately about not being pregnant and all that.

(Current pregnant count: 3)

Plus I'm menstruating and that always brings me down. All day yesterday (when I wasn't sleeping) I just felt like crying for no reason. Being a woman can really blow sometimes!

I wanted to take a moment to refocus myself on some good things in my life. It can be so easy to point out all the bad. Anyway...here is a list of all the great things in my life right now (I'm sure there is more...)

1. Loving Husband
2. Loving God
3. Happy Home
4. Roof Over My Head
5. Food in my belly
6. Smallville in my DVD player
7. $750 in debt .. and that is it!!!
8. Mostly working car
9. Jason has a job
10. Jason got the shift he wanted
11. I have a job
12. We added 4 kids for the summer to the daycare which will help a lot with the budget
13. I have a new kitten!! (I told Jason that until he knocks me up he has to get me a kitten every spring)
14. Brand new LCD monitor should be here tomorrow.
15. Clothes to wear
16. SHOES!
17. Awesome siblings
18. Fantastic Boss
19. Furry Animals to love in my home
20. A backyard to hang out in to enjoy the sunshine
21. Goats to watch be dumb (have you ever noticed that our food animals are real stupid? --cows, pigs, chickens, fish, ect--do you think there's a reason for that?)
22. Books to read.


Well, that's good for now, maybe I'll add more later.

Another Sad Happy

I'm evil or selfish or evilly selfish I don't know.

A co-work of Jason's died from a major heart attack. So, my second thought after: "Oh, that is terrible. His poor family and friends...." Was.... "Jason will be put on a better shift!" I'm terrible. I feel awful about my thoughts.

I am sad, really, I am.

But a part of me is a little bit happy.

Cry Baby

I slept wrong Friday night (How fair is that to sleep wrong, I'm asleep I can't help myself, and here I am "sleeping wrong") and now I have this dull ache in my right shoulder area. However, yesterday the pain was bad enough for me to catch my breath everytime I moved it. Then last night as I was settling down into bed (on my back which is not the "wrong" way to sleep) I cried because I could not get comfortable no matter what I did. I just don't handle pain well.

I made an appointment with the massage therapist to see if she could give me any relief, but today it is much better, no sharp, shooting, sudden stabs of pain that travel all the way down my arm.

Whenever I have pain like this it always makes me wonder, how will I handle childbirth pain? I am just thankful for modern medicine and a loving husband who I can beat up since it will be his fault I'm in pain. :)

Questions Answered

I talked to the hubby and can I just say that he is amazing. I am so happy that God gave him to me and that by some strange miracle we found each other and ended up being so "right"? God is good that is all I can say.

I talked to the hubby and lo and behold he is just as frightened as I am about this whole baby thing! :) For some reason knowing he is scared makes me less scared. He tells me that I'll make a good mother and that, "No, I'll never be ready to give up some of my freedoms, but I still want to go through with this and have a baby." He tells me that he'll adjust.

I just hope that if we do get pregnant as soon as I'm hoping (let there be a miracle!) and we can't afford a house, that the room upstairs gets built. I'd like to have one place dog hair free and that will be our upstairs! ....I hope.

Questions

Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder:

• Am I ready for parenthood?
• Am I ready for 2 am feedings?
• Am I ready to give up some of my freedoms & rights? (such as: showering quietly, sleeping in, being alone & quiet in my home)
• Am I ready to responsible 24/7 for someone?
• Is my marriage ready for this?
• Are our finances ready for a baby?
• Do I want a kid for the right reasons?

And then I remember that I have a good man by my side and a loving and supportive family near-by and I realize that, yes, things are going to be different and hard. But in some ways things will be way more fun.

Our Story Begins

Jason and I were married May 31, 2008. I have always wanted children and even before we married we discussed children: when to have them, how many, what to call them, and how to raise them. Logic told me that we ought to wait a year to even think about kids (so we could get used to being hubby & wife) but at 28 (almost 29) my clock is ticking.

Recently we decided to quicken the pace and start trying sooner. Due to my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrom) I don't ovulate. No egg no baby. I went to my doctor and she started me on a drug that my doc said should jump start the egg dropping process, but I have to be on it for 6 months! The other day I was feeling a bit depressed about having to wait and then maybe not even having a baby so I went on line to see what I could find.

What I found gave me hope. I found a slew of other women with PCOS that have gotten pregnant, with out this fourth drug that I'm taking (yes I'm on four pills right now!) so tomorrow (sept 2) I'm going to give my doc a call and see if I can stop taking this 6 month pill and go straight to the baby making!

For the first time since I was diagnosed with PCOS (at age 14) I have hope of concieving. I've been pretty hopeless lately. I cry alot. Especially when my friends or family call me with news that so-and-so is pregnant. I even find it hard to hold a newborn, because in the back of my mind I have had this thought that I'll never have one of my own. But, like I said I have hope.

Breastfeeding

Just to add to my worry and fears I found out that with my hypothyroid I may have issues breastfeeding. Such as not having enough milk because my body has a too slow metabalism. I did read though that this woman was able to pump some out and feed to her baby in addition to formula, so that's something good.